Who Cares Enough to Call You an Ass?

Okay, I got past the title.  Was struggling with the vocabulary because, really, when a person is being a big time jerk others call him/her an asshole, although not usually to their face.  Somehow, my good-girl, Southern upbringing is still enough intact that I can’t quite be that profane in the title.  On the other hand, I don’t want to dilute completely the sentiment by saying “idiot” or “brat”.  (The later seems to be my daughter’s favorite put down these days.)

So, in truth, this is a post about our asshole potential.

Clearly, he has lost his mind (and effectiveness).

Yesterday I was awed by a friend’s zealous commitment to a Big Home Project.  I had never known said friend to be handy or so domestically inclined.  Turns out, work has a high stress potential in the next few months and this diversion will help release the tension.  I was impressed by such pro-activity and self awareness.   Make that, self-awareness nudged into place with the help of his lovely wife.

Very astutely, she saw what was on the horizon and anticipated the possiblity of frustration-fueled bad behavior.  More importantly, she had the chutzpah to ask what he was going to do so he wouldn’t become an asshole.

I thought this was great!  What do I do to keep from becoming an asshole?  Sweat through P90X at 5am, journal, vent to appropriate resources (thanks Mom!), end my day escaping in a novel, and hike with my smiley Golden.

Look at that face! Antidote to crankiness.

Naturally, I was curious:

What keeps you from becoming an asshole?

Then I realized a big piece of not being an asshole is knowing when we’ve crossed the line or are getting close.  Most people are too intimidated or annoyed by assholes or assholes-in-the-make to jump into that scary conversation.  Maybe the more important question is:

Who cares enough to tell you when you’re being an asshole?

Cherish those true few.




  1. My 4 year old daughter cares enough. She says “your not being nice!” it definitely makes you think about it.
    Good post Cindy!

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