The Other “A” Word

(No, I’m not talking about that again.)

“A” as in Accountability:

  1. Doing what you say you’re going to do, by when you say you’re going to do it.
  2. Constructively following up with a colleague who didn’t do what they said they were going to do, by when they said they were going to do it.

Some organizations seamlessly weave accountability into the fabric of their culture.  Others fear and avoid it.  They don’t want to make a colleague look bad, spark a conflict, or invite embarrassing accountability turnaround.   If individual accountability is high for all involved, then good things still get done on time.   A couple of weak links, though, can lead to missed deadlines, grumbling behind people’s backs, and lost opportunities.   You know what I’m talking about.

One team of really smart, committed software as service professionals would get very quiet any time our conversation steered toward accountability.  Lots of big eyes looking all over to escape eye contact with me.  I think one person even stopped breathing for a bit.

Naturally, their determined avoidance meant we were going there!

The team wasn’t sure how to create more accountability, or be brave enough to hold each other accountable.  They were, however, very astute in describing their current relationship with accountability:

  •  It’s squishy, hard to interpret and inconsistent.
  • Thinking about holding others accountable is stressful.
  • Without it, we’re a bunch of individuals without cohesiveness.  It’s easy to stay in our own little area.
  • We don’t tend to assign work to people who don’t meet goals, but we don’t tell them that.
  • We’re great at pulling things together at the last minute and enjoy the buzz and collegiality of that pressure.

This last comment jiggled them out of their stuck place.  In the early days, it was exhilarating for a bunch of single twenty-somethings to crank through an all-nighter and just barely meet a client deadline.  Now, years (and spouses and babies) later, it’s not so much fun.  Regular sleep has also become more delicious than 2am pizza.

Through this lens, accountability wasn’t such a bad guy after all.  It could be the key to:

  • Freeing up time to do things outside of work.
  • Getting behind objectives that point toward success.  (Without accountability, objectives are just something we’re supposed to do, but no one really pays attention to them.)
  • Securing timely access to resources and information.
  • Providing genuine recognition; accountability flags it when people do what they were supposed to do.
  • Having more fun by getting into a flow of accomplishment and knowing others are too.
  • Being acknowledged for something of which we’re proud, versus our capacity for martyrdom (i.e. lack of sleep).

I wish I could say “Ah ha!  Problem solved!” but big change takes practice.  What I can say is that their bravery in naming That Which Shall Not Be Discussed has broken a barrier, opening the way to practice.

What’s your team’s relationship with accountability?


Share

Who Cares Enough to Call You an Ass?

Okay, I got past the title.  Was struggling with the vocabulary because, really, when a person is being a big time jerk others call him/her an asshole, although not usually to their face.  Somehow, my good-girl, Southern upbringing is still enough intact that I can’t quite be that profane in the title.  On the other hand, I don’t want to dilute completely the sentiment by saying “idiot” or “brat”.  (The later seems to be my daughter’s favorite put down these days.)

So, in truth, this is a post about our asshole potential.

Clearly, he has lost his mind (and effectiveness).

Yesterday I was awed by a friend’s zealous commitment to a Big Home Project.  I had never known said friend to be handy or so domestically inclined.  Turns out, work has a high stress potential in the next few months and this diversion will help release the tension.  I was impressed by such pro-activity and self awareness.   Make that, self-awareness nudged into place with the help of his lovely wife.

Very astutely, she saw what was on the horizon and anticipated the possiblity of frustration-fueled bad behavior.  More importantly, she had the chutzpah to ask what he was going to do so he wouldn’t become an asshole.

I thought this was great!  What do I do to keep from becoming an asshole?  Sweat through P90X at 5am, journal, vent to appropriate resources (thanks Mom!), end my day escaping in a novel, and hike with my smiley Golden.

Look at that face! Antidote to crankiness.

Naturally, I was curious:

What keeps you from becoming an asshole?

Then I realized a big piece of not being an asshole is knowing when we’ve crossed the line or are getting close.  Most people are too intimidated or annoyed by assholes or assholes-in-the-make to jump into that scary conversation.  Maybe the more important question is:

Who cares enough to tell you when you’re being an asshole?

Cherish those true few.

 

Share

No Lying: We Learned it as Kids, Let’s Live it as Professionals

Toss a frog in boiling water and it’ll immediately jump out.  If, however, you put that frog into room temperature water and then bring it to a boil, it won’t try to escape.  Somehow it doesn’t register the incrementally increasing mess it’s in.

Despite evolutionary advantages, sometimes we’re not much different. 

It appears our tolerance for, and even insistence on, favorable fudging has crept to astonishing heights that no longer serves, or even shocks us.  How does a Senator get away with quoting something that’s 3% as being 90%, and then toss it off as “never meaning to be factual”?  According to Pulitzer Prize winner James B. Stewart’s recently published Tangled Webs: How False Statements are Undermining America this blatant misrepresentation is more of a trend than anomaly.  A 4/19/11 NPR story describes the book as a collection of “anecdotal evidence from people like prosecutors who view it (lying and perjury) as an epidemic to the point where they come into work expecting to be lied to day after day.” 

How has this truth massaging trickled down into your world? 

professional advice

Ironically, while my corporate clients are often cautioned about being “too direct”, the Moms I know  increasingly call it like they see it.  The women at my daughter’s school speak up when there’s spinach in your teeth, the math program is sagging, your kid’s out of line, or even, you’re out of line. School drop off and pick up are a much needed cocktail of real information and candor.  These women wouldn’t dream of spinning anything;  there’s too much at stake.  Now if only we could infuse that same urgent frankness into business and government.

Thursday was the last day of elementary school; next year we head in different directions.  I am already missing these bold, trustworthy friends.

Share

Another vote for conflict (resolution)

Loved this from Penelope Trunk’s blog:

“…most of life is about conflict resolution. It’s either internal conflict or external conflict,  but if you don’t have conflict then you are probably not trying to do something interesting with your life.”

Thanks to wordpress, widgets, plugins etc. my life is now exceptionally rich and interesting.

Share

Use a Big Mop and Get Every Drop

One of the little people in my life once confessed to having done something at school that wasn’t so nice. She felt terrible about the mess she’d made but didn’t know what to do.

I told her that relationship messes weren’t much different from other types of messes, like when you spill milk.  You have to clean them up.  If ignored, things get stinky.

spilled milk

I asked her:

  • Who was directly affected by what you did?
  • What do you need to do/say to clean it up?
  • When will you do that?

Just having a plan helped her feel better and she was looking forward to following through the next day. She thought we were done.  Addressing only the main spill, however, still leaves lots of little sticky spatters on the edge.

She now needed to consider:

  • Who else was affected?
  • How so?
  • How can you make things right with these people too?

We’re so used to spinning reality to make ourselves/products look good that this raw self-honesty and acceptance of fault can feel very uncomfortable at first.  For my little friend it was more cleaning up than she’d expected, but worth the effort.  Relationships are mended and trust is restored – leaving no residual awkwardness or resentment.

Share