The Art of the E-Intro

The internet and tough economy have combined to accelerate our ability and appetite for meeting strangers. Not just random strangers, but people who work at companies we may want to do business with, work with or learn from. We can easily search our contacts to find someone to make that intro, and most people are receptive in a way that was unimaginable only a few years ago.

Sure you can whip together a quick:

 “Hi Bob, allow me to introduce Karen. We had coffee this morning and I think you two would have a lot to talk about.”

If Bob really trusts me and has some time on his hands (ha!), he may reach out to Karen. Otherwise he’s left wondering what the common ground might be.

“Is this Karen person going to try and sell me something? Is this intro work-related, or is Cindy subtly fixing us up?”

A great intro leaves nothing to guesswork and inspires a sense of possibility that makes it impossible to ignore. Here is a (modified) Real Life Example with markers highlighting the key features:

Hi David,

(A) I remember your telling me that if I find good talent to pass them your way. I’d like to introduce you to a colleague of mine, Lori Martin. (B) While she’s been highly successful as a medical equipment sales rep, her real passion is early childhood education. She would love to be selling products that ensure every child is kindergarten ready.  Naturally, I thought of you and your tools. (C) Lori is great at turning cold leads hot, always beats her targets, and shares what works with colleagues so the whole team wins. Sounds like the kind of person you like to work with!

(D) I’ve cc’d Lori here so you each have the others’ information.  Feel free to reach out directly.  Enjoy!

Cindy

Here’s how the “formula” breaks down:

A. Get their attention in a way that warms them up to what’s coming.

B. Share some context about the people you’re introducing. Be specific enough to intrigue them, but keep it brief for efficiency.

C. Throw in a personal observation about their strengths/experience to solidify the reason to connect.

D. Be clear about how to proceed.

One last tip, for the Subject, make it obvious so they know what the email is about now, and when they hunt for it later. E.g. David Meet Lori

Yes, an intro like that takes some time to put together – possibly as long as 15 – 20 minutes, and it shows. Readers learn important details, know why it’s worth their while and even feel a bit flattered.

Don’t whine about not having the time.  Yes, sometimes when you’ve spoken to both parties you can just say:

“Hi Bob and Karen, by now I’ve mentioned you each to one another. I think you’d enjoy meeting and discussing your mutual interest in in-bound marketing. I’ll now leave it up to you two to connect, enjoy!”

But when it really matters, like making sure a job application or proposal gets read, you truly honor your contact and that relationship by making a special intro. Who knows? Maybe one day they’ll return the favor.

What other tips can you offer on the Art of the E-Intro?

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Snippit of Wisdom

My clients sometimes imagine that because of my work, I have this whole work-life balance thing figured out.  Not exactly. Just like for them, it is also a work in progress for me.

Last week I began bringing yoga back into my routine. It’s a nice counterbalance to P90X that my muscles, brain and spirit all appreciate. I started with an incredibly demanding, yet energizing class at Radiance Power Yoga. While much of the class is a sweaty blur, I do remember Sky, the instructor, asking:

“Do you meet crazy with crazy, or crazy with calm?” Brilliant.

Love the studio's sparkly sunburst!

 

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“Daring Greatly” According to Dr. Brene Brown

Sometimes you decide to squeeze something in to your already-packed life and in hindsight it wasn’t worth it. Other times, you’re glad you made the effort.

Last night, or rather early this morning (2am), joining a live feed to listen to Dr. Brene Brown was definitely worth it.  Dr. Brown was speaking at the annual International Coach Federation conference in London about how having the courage to be vulnerable can transform  the way we live, love and lead.

Here’s her Ted Talk.

Here are my tweets to give you a flavor of her research and writing:

  • Vulnerability researcher gets “Daring Greatly” from Teddy R quote http://bit.ly/T2dZOZ
  • No such thing as creative people and not creative people, only those who use their creativity and those who don’t.
  • In you, vulnerability looks like courage. In me, it feels like weakness. How do we jump that disconnect?
  • Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s our most accurate measure of courage.
  • If you are not aware about how you do vulnerability, it will do you.
  • Feedback is a function of respect.
  • #1 complaint HR hears is “no feedback.” Feedback done well makes the giver vulnerable too. Interesting catch-22.
  • Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism. We don’t succeed bc of perfectionism, but in spite if it.
  • Cultivating “cool” puts a straight jacket on learning and connection.

Here’s another I forgot to tweet:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

Gives me chills every time.

Want more? (I do.) Here’s her latest book

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Poor Company Leadership: 5 Worst Leadership Mistakes

Thought I’d share a quick guest post I did for the  OI Partners blog.  OI Partners is a global talent management company helping individuals develop their careers through personalized, one-on-one attention and employers improve the performance of their employees and organizations.  They wanted to know what I’d list as the 5 Worst Leadership Mistakes.  Here’s what I said:

There are many ways leaders can blow it. To me, it’s most discouraging when they trip over things involving interpersonal insensitivity, ignorance or laziness. These gaffes bruise an employee’s sense of loyalty which can have a big ripple effect because:

“Employees rated their relationship with their immediate supervisor as more important to their job satisfaction than benefits and compensation.”

Source: 2011 Employee Job Satisfaction and Engagement: A Research Report by SHRM

With that in mind, here’s my list of the Top 5 Worst Leadership Mistakes:

1)    Avoid Difficult Conversations – This one is a double whammy. First, by not stepping up to awkward situations or performance concerns, the supervisor doesn’t allow the employee to address the issue. Second, the resulting disruptions create drag on other employees and weaken their faith in the boss’ leadership.

2)    Pride Themselves on a “Hands Off” Management Style – When there’s friction between employees it can be messy. A leader whose go-to strategy is “letting you figure out how to play nicely in the sand box” is basically abdicating responsibility. The leader is ensuring continued distraction and frustration for the team. A good leader sees the issue, considers a range of interventions, and selects one based on the situation. They may choose “hands off,” but it’s not the only tool in their box. This slip is a close cousin to Avoiding Difficult Conversations.

3)    Err on the Side of Less Communication – Despite the email deluge, it’s surprising how often employees feel out of the loop. Leaders sometimes shift position but fail to update those that weren’t in the last, pivotal conversation. They may feel so overwhelmed by the ‘to do’s” of a big initiative that they skimp on the communications that would keep everyone up to speed. Employees can feel left out, exert effort in the wrong direction, and/or think the leader is hiding something.

4)    Don’t Hold Others Accountable – How often have you worked like crazy to meet your part of a deadline just to have others miss theirs without consequence? How does it feel when this happens over and over? It’s a sure recipe for frustration, resentment, second-guessing, and loss of respect for leadership.

5)    Don’t Hold Themselves Accountable – This leadership pitfall holds all the snakes of number four, but magnified tenfold. The implication is “I don’t have to play by the rules I set for you.” Who wants to work for someone conveying that sense of arrogance?

For some supervisors, these issues are simply blind spots that can be shored up with leadership executive coaching that heightens awareness and generates more effective strategies. For others, the roots of these bad behaviors may be a bit more knotty. It would be advantageous to engage in a robust executive development program that, in addition to raising awareness, untangles motivations, highlights perceptions and their impact, defines the leader’s more desired impact, and creates an action plan for working through this shift.

Which of the above have you wrestled with? I’d love to hear about changes you made and the resulting impact.

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Acknowledgement, Another Reason Why It’s Worth It

A few months ago, I read a blog post by one of my clients, ThinkerforHire, that floored me. I’ve always loved her smart, spirited view and playful weave of deep intellect and shallow culture.  Her “Ray Bradbury (Wine Made From Weeds)” tribute had the same polish and pique, but she’d zipped it together in 15 minutes after hearing of Mr. Bradbury’s death. I spend 15 minutes booting my laptop and making tea.

I was so inspired, I had to comment:

Dang girl, I’ve always loved your smart sass, relevance and concise style. Today, the fact that you just whipped out something so complete awed me. I know many people who call themselves writers because they have blogs, share ideas or hang out a lot w other writers.  But you are the real deal and I love how your excellence inspires me 🙂

Drawing on my best coach-like acknowledgement skills, I made sure to share not only:

a. what, specifically, she had done, but

b. what it was about her that made it possible.

(Yes, it takes a bit longer to craft that type of feedback, but it’s so much more meaningful to the recipient than a thumbs up and “hey, nice job!” The other person feels special, and knows that you really get who they are.)

Here’s what Elizabeth, my blogging inspiration, responded:

Cindy, thank you. This note is so wonderful!!! It means a great deal to me… I was really pleased! Especially the “real deal” part.

I loved that my words gave her that, and I benefited from the acknowledgement as well. By sharing what I appreciated about her, I actually clarified my own values and aspirations around timely, richly-detailed yet concise, smart writing.

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